Every woman is different when it comes to being a stay at home mom vs staying in the workplace. I know that most women are not able to work from home with the type of career they have, or for financial reasons they cannot stop working, or some women need that connection and identity outside of being a stay at home mom. Many people have strong opinions why it should be one way or another, I am not here to say that one way is better than the other or even the way it should be. Every woman is different, I am just sharing my personal experience.
My parents had their own business and my mom worked out of our home. Growing up, my mom was always there if I needed her. If I forgot something she could bring it to me, if I was not feeling well she was able to stay home with me, on days when we had pep rallies and other school activities, my mom was able to come and cheer me on. Justin was raised the same way. And I want to do the same for my kids. When I got pregnant we knew that I would not be able to quit working altogether, but, it was also not worth putting Jacob in daycare since it is ridiculously expensive and my paycheck would just be thrown into the cost of daycare. Besides, I didn’t want to do that anyway, I wanted to be home with my child.
Fortunately, I work for some amazing people and have the kind of job that allows me to work from home and go into the office one day a week. It is a challenge to get work done at home with a baby. Especially one that only takes 30 minute naps! But somehow, I’ve been able to get it done. The things that require more than 15 minutes of my time get done at night after he goes to bed.
So what does Jacob do on the one day a week I go into the office? He hangs out with Daddy! We are also fortunate that Justin has the kind of job that he is able to be home with Jacob one day a week. I love this set up because I get the best of both worlds. I can be at home with my son, but also keep my own identity in the workplace AND Justin gets some quality time with Jacob. What’s even better is because Justin has this time with him, he knows what it is like to be home with him all day. He knows I don’t sit around the couch watching soap operas and eating bon bons, he knows that Jacob needs to be entertained, he knows how to do the routine and knows that he only naps for 30 minutes and that 30 minutes is not really enough time to do much else than go to the bathroom, eat something and maybe answer an email here and there. He knows how exhausting it is, he knows how you always have to stay one step ahead of him, and he knows how much stuff you have to take anytime you go anywhere with him. Because he knows how much work it is, he tells me all the time that he appreciates me and everything I do. I feel so blessed to have a husband who loves me and understands.
The first day Justin watched Jacob, this is what I saw when I walked into our bedroom after putting Jacob to bed.
Now that we’re in more of a “routine” and we are used functioning in our new lifestyle, it is easier. While it is still exhausting, Jacob is getting more and more fun every day with being able to interact with him more and see him squeal in delight at something or get a serious look on his face when he is trying to figure something out. Justin is enjoying this time even more. I even convinced him to try wearing Jacob in a carrier. The two carriers I have are wonderful, but he can only be worn facing in towards me, sometimes he doesn’t like that because he wants to see what is going on. So a friend of mine gave me her Baby Bjorn, Justin put it on and Jacob LOVED it! We took the dog for a walk and Jacob was giggling and squealing at everything he saw (mostly the dog, he loves to watch the dog). I think Daddy Daycare has approached a new level since the Bjorn has been discovered!
And no, Justin does not drink beer all day while watching Jacob, this photo was taken in the evening after I got home 🙂